The Misfits

Hissarmau's Journal - Part 1

Twas The Seventh of Flamerule

Part The First

Exciting doings lately. On the seventh of Flamerule, I went out and ended up meeting a drunken, rather plug-ugly human male named Lemmy Sorpic. Normally, such company is not for me outside of working commissions, but he has this amazing purple, glowing, glittering, unusual therefore tempting sword. Such a teasing prize was well worth following the hulking fellow into this rowdier bar in the Burrows district. He was pretty cranky when I experimentally swatted at his lovely lovely sword but sullenly let me buy him a drink. So I happily bought a round and chatted away, finding out that he was a new arrival to the Rock looking for some action while I watched Lemmy’s eyes droop lower and lower from the drink. He kept asking about a smart-ass three-year-old. Poor fella. Probably some messy domestic situation I imagine. Ah well. I buy another round.

After some time, Lemmy lurched to his feet, muttering about needing a place to crash for the night. Being such a compassionate soul, I naturally couldn’t let him stumble around drunk at night so offered to put him up for the night. Once he fell asleep, he couldn’t warn me off his sword anymore, leaving Me to inspect it at leisure—it was just too glittery for its own damned good and I’ve ever been a sucker for such unique things. I’ve never seen a crystalline sword and its ambient glow was driving me a little crazy.

I tossed a coin to one of the bar goons to help me get Lemmy loaded into a rickshaw. After arriving at my house, we bumped into the lovely and charming Violetta, “The Masked Bard” and a fellow named Henry Darger. Once the others picked themselves up and dusted themselves off (I naturally kept my footing due to the blessings of my ancestors’ agility), we all retired to a local teahouse called Chu’s, settling into a quiet (i.e. private) room in the back.

After some conversation, I was offered a job piloting to a pirate base with the goal of rescuing some fella falsely accused of murder (aren’t they all!). Lemmy drunkenly agreed to come along as extra muscle while I ultimately agreed after the additional promise of first dibs on any protective amulets along with my pay. I may be 16 and from the Horde Lands, but my masters refused to abide any foolishness during my training and schooled me in the basics of handling of the Order of the Wren’s and Master Fujiama’s accounts and contracts, along with everything else.

We eventually retired to Lucille’s House, where “The Masked Bard” is the resident musician and dancer and where Henry lives. Lemmy decided to stay (something about a black whore and a fat whore) at Lucille’s while I decided to hang about talking to the ladies about the finer details of womanhood. After having two male masters who schooled me well in all matters of fighting, meditation, spell casting and piloting, I felt it was time to acquire some “feminine skills”. Henry (considerately I think!) offered to show me the way, but he wasn’t exactly going to show me what I had in mind, the mattress mambo being a far cry from make-up and being a graceful lady and all that troll shit.

I bounced between my place at the edge of the Red Lantern district and Lucille’s, gathering my few items together for the commission and trying to find any information about the spectacular murder. Political overtones were hinted at so I wanted as much information as possible. I finally struck paydirt with a bartender. The Vanderboren family has suffered a tragedy it seems. A lovely chest was sent to Papa and Mama Vanderboren, which was sadly booby-trapped with magic spells, exploding and killing both parents upon opening, leaving the son accused of the horrendous (and unnatural—Patricide and Matricide for pity’s sake!) crime. And we’re looking for the kid. Unfortunately, I was unable to ascertain the political angle, leaving me still uneasy.

Alas, the whole orphan thing. Had to have a damned orphan angle. Being an orphan myself, my whole tribe wiped out by barbarians when I was only a kit of 10, I feel badly for the kid though if he’s guilty I think he ought to suffer proper punishment of the law—I mean killing such precious connections, abomination! So I’m stuck satisfying my own terrible curiosity as to whether the kid is innocent (and thus should be permitted his mourning and responsibilities to his ancestors unmolested) or if he’s guilty (whereupon he should be executed summarily). I would do anything to see my parents again, even my cranky great-aunt Narcissa would be a welcome sight, bad cooking, worse breath and all.

We finally left Dragon Rock a few days later with me at the helm of the ship. After accidentally reversing into the mast of the main ship, I was to make a quiet, discreet entry with the wreckboat, but missed it by a mile, screeching into port and banging up the ship when I attempted to make the narrow entrance. No one really liked that (I heard cussing of all languages—quite remarkable really from a linguistics standpoint), but I feel I leavened the mood by pointing out that the new damage would only add verisimilitude to our story of needing to dock due to damage to our ship. Really though, I was momentarily distracted by that space-blasted purple glittery sword. Freakin’ thing.

After arrival, we began to look about while Violetta recounted the tale of Pirate Captain Haven and his Squidship (apparently there’s a large treasure involved as well).
We ran across a guy in one of the tunnels. The guy tried to run but a large bear-hug from Lemmy stopped him. He was only willing to tell us his name (Jess Furrier) and the name of the village (Haven-Fara) that was ahead of us. He claimed to have no knowledge of our guy and he had no obvious means of return, the landing dock being empty upon our (albeit accidently!) noisome arrival. In thanks, we trussed him up, gagged him and tossed his weapons down another corridor.

We found a large, forested cavern with the village of Haven-Fara in a clearing in the center. Over the village was a large formation of psionic crystals which shed a gentle light over the scene. A weird trident looking thing was in the center of the village, reaching high for the crystals above. And over it all, like a demented frosting, were spiderwebs. We decided we were too hasty about Jess Furrier so went back to let him loose and hopefully gain his help. Silly human tried to run away but I brought him down in a flash with a nice low, sweeping kick. My master would have been so proud.

Furrier is eager to accompany us, wild to rescue his fiancée from the besieged village. According to him, the village was fine when he left two weeks ago. So Henry is accompanying Furrier as he retrieves his weapons. Violetta, Lemmy and I returned to the village where I spotted an opening. Lemmy has decided to enter while Violetta and I stand watch.

Right now, I’m trying to forget all those times I’ve played with spiders in the past. I’d spend all day when I was a kit, following particularly large spiders about, swatting, batting, pouncing on them. My play looks, well, awfully rough in hindsight actually and now I’m on my way into a village with spiders large as hunting dogs. (sigh) I really hope the spiders don’t decide to “play” with me. Wish I could meditate—maybe for a quick second??? Ooooooommmmmm. . .

Facts recently learned:

Lemmy drinks OTP

Mascara opens up the eye area—Thanks Lucille’s Ladies!

Vanderboren murder details

Pirate Captain Haven and Squidship legend

Note to self:

Practice take-offs and landing

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